I often work with clients who tell me they don’t know how to be positive.
But I tell them that’s ok because we’re wired to be negative. That’s how we survived thousands of years ago.
That’s how we avoided being eaten by the saber-toothed tiger, bitten by the snake or being attacked by our neighbor.
In our modern-day existence, it’s still relevant to be cautious.
For example, if we see a car in front of us, veer across the road, we slow down and keep our distance.
I don’t know about you, but I would never walk home on my own at night. I’m aware of the danger and realistic about the potential outcomes, so I don’t put myself in that situation.
The difference now though, in comparison to thousands of years ago, is that we’re not supposed to be negative all of the time because we’re no longer in danger all of the time.
But because we’re wired that way, our fear and negativity often show up as limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs do have a role and a purpose. They are a comfortable way to allow us to fail.
What do I mean by this?
Take, for example,a friend of mine from school. She failed a critical exam because she didn’t study for it
When I asked her why she said she couldn’t focus because she always got a terrible migraine when she was under pressure. So, there was no point trying because she’d get the migraine and fail anyway.
Do you see what she was doing?
She was blaming her limiting beliefs for her failure. Failure isn’t pleasant, so she was using her limiting belief to cushion the blow.
Our beliefs are the lens through which we view the world. They can influence our perceptions and define what is good, bad, true, real and possible.
They can affect our relationships and determine our health.
They can lower or raise our level of happiness.
Our limited beliefs will also keep us in pain.
Imagine, like my school friend, you suffer from terrible migraines. When you get a migraine, it debilitates you.
The only way to get rid of your migraine is to lie in a quiet, dark room. Sometimes it puts you out of action for days. Itmakes you feel miserable.
Perhaps you may believe that your migraines are triggered when you get exhausted. This means you avoid getting tired at all costs.
Imagine what this means for your life? Maybe you used to love taking your grandchildren out for the day, but now you don’t because you get exhausted and it triggers a migraine.
And maybe you end up saying to yourself…I get migraines when I’m tired, so I can’t do the things that I used to. I can’t go on trips, go for a walk or spend time with my family.
But do you realize that’s a limiting belief?
And if you keep telling yourself you’re going to get a migraine every time you do something, then, of course, that’s what’s going to happen.
So, your limiting belief is stopping you from living your life to the fullest.
You may be reading this and thinking…well, the migraine is real…how can that be a limiting belief?
Yes, I agree, the migraine is real. But the limiting belief is that you can’t spend quality time with your family and enjoy life because you might get a migraine.
And if you tell yourself you’re going to get a migraine over and over again then guess what? You will get a migraine!
Sometimes we might not even know we have a limiting belief. So, I have an exercise for you that will help you understand what your limiting beliefs are.
Get a piece of paper and pen and answer these three questions:
- What are my limiting beliefs?
- Where might these limiting beliefs have come from?
- What are they stopping me from doing in my life now?
Write down whatever comes into your head. Write down your feelings.
Click here to send me an email to share your findings with me.
With much love and healing,
Phaedra
P.S. If you’re interested in working with me, virtually or through a treatment intensive, email me here: phaedra@paintreatmentsthatwork.com